Dear Farm Journal,
Alrighty, so…we seem to have a big time dilemma with our adolescent farm dog, Balio. It seems that the stars have perfectly aligned for our neighbor’s dog to come into heat as Balio’s balls drop. Love is literally in the air. My normally well behaved, close keeping, dog has turned into a sex crazed beast. Yesterday evening, our neighbor brought Balio back by putting his female in the bed of his truck as “bait” while Balio chased behind. All the chemicals in his canine brain are telling him he must get to her at any cost. This is quite a conundrum for a dog who has never successfully worn a collar, walked on a leash, or been tied up. I kept him inside for the evening and when I let him outside in the morning, he completely ignored that Gizmo and Jodi were eating his food (which he usually would never let fly). He drank the entire dish of water and made a break for it before we even had coffee made. It was all Rufus and I could do to corral him away from his new girlfriend into the back of the car. There was a lot of panting, sweating, and wide eyed bewilderment to be had by all (also, excessive salivating, so much drool on Balio’s neck). Rufus looked super afraid that Balio could turn on him any second and literally just take his whole arm off. We most definitely need a new plan because free range Balio doesn’t work anymore.